Reality strikes...
Once upon a time I remember when I was young or rather not so old I used to look upon people who were 23 years old as some awesome creatures in this planet earth who would have achieved nirvana in their life! They would be sure of their career, have a real good girl, and know where their life is heading! These were supposedly my own thoughts and shouldn’t I be fulfilling my own expectations about being 23 years old? Well sadly I realize I don’t fulfill any of those 3 conditions. I am still not clear whether I should take a sales job traveling for which would steal me of the wonderful moments that I can spend with people whom I want to or the supposedly awesome I banking stuff which would give me the a lot of money to count but may give me the time to! And FYI, I am single and I am not sure where am going to go 3 months from now.
So having failed my own 3 conditions to happiness I just look back at my own life.
Guess when I was in school people kept telling me that I do my tenth boards well and my life would be settled (would like to get back to them and ask what they meant by settling down). Then when passed out of class 10 they said do your class 12 boards well and things would be all rosy. Then in my college days I realized people stopped telling me things but I had gotten so used to this that I started setting my own ambitions lest I end up not being ‘happy’ in life. The funny part is the word happy is as subjective as anything else. Once upon a time when I was around 13 my typical ‘happy’ would be like a 12 hour marathon sleep session, then wake up play get back home sleep, wake up, play, watch TV and sleep!! Now neither am I able to sleep for 12 hours at a stretch nor am I able to go out and play like a kid. Actually I was introduced to a kid as uncle by someone but the kid was kind enough to call me by my name.
Another weird thing is everything used to be a lot simpler when I was a kid. There used to be friends or ‘enemies’. There used to be right or wrong. There used to be good or bad.
Growing up I realize there are only people whom you get along with aka friends and people whom you don’t get along with who are not your friends! There are very few things right or wrong in this world and more often than not the truth lies in between.
Conversation when I was young:
A: would you accept bribe?
Me: NO!!
A: Why?
Me: Its bad, dishonest, cheap….
If the same happens now:
A: would you accept bribe?
Me: well don’t know ..Wouldn’t really be able to tell you unless I go through it!
A: Why?
Me: Because its easy for me to say something politically correct and get applause…but I really don’t know if I will refuse if someone offers me a Rs 100 cr bribe though I would want to refuse!! If it’s a 10000 bribe maybe I will refuse but 100 cr am not sure till I actually refuse.
Another major thing I see and that includes me too is the fear of failure or rejection. I don’t think most of us would have thought of failing our annual exam in school or having a back up solution if say you fail in class 8.But when you grow up it goes like well my plan A is xxxx and if it fails plan B is yyyy and if that also fails plan C is zzzz. The fear of failure, I think, is the most important thing to tackle to be successful because for the simple reason that it used to work when you were young.
Another thing is the natural confidence/aggression/arrogance or whatever you might want to call it. Looking back at similar conversations it is damn funny
When i was young:
Dad: how did your exam go?
Me: good dad. Should get good marks!!
Dad: How much?
Me: Atleast 95…
Dad: grins
NOW:
Dad: how did your CAT exam go?
Me: Dad, don’t know did my best. Lets see how it works.
Dad: What do you think are your chances?
Me: Well don’t know dad, it depends on a lot of things. Should be lucky and ….
Dad: realizes I had screwed it.
Another thing is when I was young I used to feel sad for the communist labourers who went on strike and thought they should be given their due. Probably I was communistic then. But now I think its stupid on their part to hold an organization to ransom and there is no moral obligation on the part of the employer to be sweet to these guys. If they don’t like they always have a choice to quit and go to a place where they will be happy. Think the employer has every right to do what he wants and it’s again the fear of failure (read as insecurity) that’s stopping them from quitting and go to some other place.
When people were kids they would have played the game to win and not to not to lose but when you get old most often than not we end up playing to not to lose! Wish I don’t do that often and I hope all my friends also don’t do that!!
Feeling a lot better now and in spite of all this the world is a nice place to live in and full of nice people!!!
PS: Guess am pretty confused about a lot of things in life and hence the reason for this kinda blog entry. So please excuse me!!
So having failed my own 3 conditions to happiness I just look back at my own life.
Guess when I was in school people kept telling me that I do my tenth boards well and my life would be settled (would like to get back to them and ask what they meant by settling down). Then when passed out of class 10 they said do your class 12 boards well and things would be all rosy. Then in my college days I realized people stopped telling me things but I had gotten so used to this that I started setting my own ambitions lest I end up not being ‘happy’ in life. The funny part is the word happy is as subjective as anything else. Once upon a time when I was around 13 my typical ‘happy’ would be like a 12 hour marathon sleep session, then wake up play get back home sleep, wake up, play, watch TV and sleep!! Now neither am I able to sleep for 12 hours at a stretch nor am I able to go out and play like a kid. Actually I was introduced to a kid as uncle by someone but the kid was kind enough to call me by my name.
Another weird thing is everything used to be a lot simpler when I was a kid. There used to be friends or ‘enemies’. There used to be right or wrong. There used to be good or bad.
Growing up I realize there are only people whom you get along with aka friends and people whom you don’t get along with who are not your friends! There are very few things right or wrong in this world and more often than not the truth lies in between.
Conversation when I was young:
A: would you accept bribe?
Me: NO!!
A: Why?
Me: Its bad, dishonest, cheap….
If the same happens now:
A: would you accept bribe?
Me: well don’t know ..Wouldn’t really be able to tell you unless I go through it!
A: Why?
Me: Because its easy for me to say something politically correct and get applause…but I really don’t know if I will refuse if someone offers me a Rs 100 cr bribe though I would want to refuse!! If it’s a 10000 bribe maybe I will refuse but 100 cr am not sure till I actually refuse.
Another major thing I see and that includes me too is the fear of failure or rejection. I don’t think most of us would have thought of failing our annual exam in school or having a back up solution if say you fail in class 8.But when you grow up it goes like well my plan A is xxxx and if it fails plan B is yyyy and if that also fails plan C is zzzz. The fear of failure, I think, is the most important thing to tackle to be successful because for the simple reason that it used to work when you were young.
Another thing is the natural confidence/aggression/arrogance or whatever you might want to call it. Looking back at similar conversations it is damn funny
When i was young:
Dad: how did your exam go?
Me: good dad. Should get good marks!!
Dad: How much?
Me: Atleast 95…
Dad: grins
NOW:
Dad: how did your CAT exam go?
Me: Dad, don’t know did my best. Lets see how it works.
Dad: What do you think are your chances?
Me: Well don’t know dad, it depends on a lot of things. Should be lucky and ….
Dad: realizes I had screwed it.
Another thing is when I was young I used to feel sad for the communist labourers who went on strike and thought they should be given their due. Probably I was communistic then. But now I think its stupid on their part to hold an organization to ransom and there is no moral obligation on the part of the employer to be sweet to these guys. If they don’t like they always have a choice to quit and go to a place where they will be happy. Think the employer has every right to do what he wants and it’s again the fear of failure (read as insecurity) that’s stopping them from quitting and go to some other place.
When people were kids they would have played the game to win and not to not to lose but when you get old most often than not we end up playing to not to lose! Wish I don’t do that often and I hope all my friends also don’t do that!!
Feeling a lot better now and in spite of all this the world is a nice place to live in and full of nice people!!!
PS: Guess am pretty confused about a lot of things in life and hence the reason for this kinda blog entry. So please excuse me!!
posted by sat at
2:56 AM
5 Comments:
Exactly!!!
Feels like life is just beginning, and just hope (though very well know its might not be true) that all the golden stuff about Management is truly atleast a little golden.
I found myself nodding my head in agreement several times as i was reading through this one...honestly i don't think i've got this growing up thing down yet. i've been forced to deal with uncertainty and the crap that life throws at you but a part of me is still not willing to let go of that simplicity in thinking i once had. and to make things a less easy i'm constantly reminded of how things 'used to be' by my cocksure, ultra confident 18-yr-old sis. I recently watched this movie 'V for Vendetta' and there's a line....'there is no certainty, only opportunity' and the sucky part about opportunity is that you have to wait for it! but i believe it comes...so despite not having it all 'figured out' (and who has?) i think you've got one thing right---that the world has its nice places and there 'are' nice people. we just have to find our niche.
this turned out longer than i had expected...may be i should start my own blog! hehehe..
yup...u never know if its good or bad but thats the way it is!!
hey ...great comparison of times before and now... guess..we all want to hold on to the good times of the past.. but Life somehow makes you forget....maybe ths for the better.. maybe not...
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home