sU mi ViDa

Final countdown

2010-05-08T23:58:00.000-07:00

Next week this time, I would be a different man I guess. In the recent past every person I meet has asked me if am nervous, jittery blah blah- compared to the workload I have had, actually prefer the butterflies :) Works been pathetically stressful- dont know why things I used to enjoy sometime back is irritating nowadays.

I had moved into a new house this week. Nice apartment- in the 18th floor- the balcony view is brilliant in the night. Gets me freaked out at times when I look down from the balcony, but what the heck.
Ya after the bad week am having a great weekend. Woke up today after a good sleep, had an early lunch with the TV on...these are the times for which you work for :)

Emotions

2009-10-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

I had wanted to write this post when I was going home for Diwali, but was too busy looking forward to crackers and food that I didnt and after that is what is called a 'month end'-month end is what is called in sales lingo the coming to the end of a month which would correlate to happiness to anyone logically for a variety of reasons chief amongst them being getting the salary..but not to a sales guy- its the most horrific period of the month if not life- would tell the various things that happens on the sales closing day-wake up, grab breakfast-if you dont you risk dying of starvation since you may not get to eat again, on way to work you would get some hajaar messages from boss , if you have supporting parents-you would get good luck messages along with mom's prayer. Then the day starts- your phone would be incessantly busy that a samsung guru battery would be put to shame. You vocabulary of the choicest of expletives gets better with the day as lady luck would eventually screw you-no wonder they call it lady luck, interesting!! Not to digress , on that day your hand would be automatically coordinated to keep hitting the refresh button, hoping that the sales has increased.( ya i see all you sales guys sighing) God is great, if not for the month end, I dont think the chaaiwaalas get their bonus. And you bloody slog all your way to do the number and your boss says as a matter of fact( for a choice of better expression) to see if you can stretch more :) and your choice of expletives gets even more refined.

Well to come back to the topic of this post- am going to enlist the 10 strong(est) emotions have faced in my life, I guess, when growing up and am sure everyone would have gone through some of this i guess

Throwing your bag off as soon as your annual exams have gotten over as if you have cracked a lottery and life is going to be bliss after that
Itching to run away to your Games/Sports/PT class since the previous two hours
Butterflies that you get when you talking to an 'interesting' girl
Your birthday when you were in school, when you would put on your birthday dress and distribute chocolates in class
The day of receiving report card when your parents would come to collect it- and you dreading that nothing goes wrong even if you are the class topper
Seeing a girl,you interested in, talking to a 'boy' laughingly
Watching the uncensored version of 'Titanic' when you were in class 7
Crying after losing an inter-house game and then thinking 'Life is unfair'
Getting your first 'BSA' cycle when you were in class 5 or 6
Knowing the school is shut down for the day because of cyclones expected and there being the clearest sky in Chennai for you to play the whole day

Diwali :)

2009-10-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Home for diwali :)
nothing to beat this feeling of being home. The only festival that I truly look forward to. The crackers,sweets,meeting up cousins,bursting more crackers,thalaivar movie release,sun tv putham pudhu thiraipadam,mom's food.....
happy diwali to everyone.

once more am back :)

2009-10-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

hello readers
er it doesnt matter even if there is none...
i havent posted for the last 9 months because:

My job has kept me busy
I was lazy
I didnt feel like it
I was a little pissed that i didnt want the world to know abt
er no one gives a fcuk abt my blog
i forgot how to access my account
have been reading too much
life is too happening to blog and all
if i blog my boss would think am quite jobless and dump me with more work
someone warned me not to blog

GOD??

2008-12-16T10:15:00.000-08:00

The last time i posted was sometime back in july when i thought I would make an effort to blog regularly. But life has its own ways and I pretty much assumed that the death knell was cast on this page. But when watching Headlines Today today, a programme on Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan, somewhere i started searching for this space, the place which is my space to speak my mind.
During the terror attack days, I was not too bothered to write a trivial blog. But today I happened to see the letter the father of the person whom Major Sandeep had saved and I felt ashamed.
I am ashamed at my own selfishness,
my own mindlessness in life
lack of meaning which used to exist when I was a kid.
Dont understand what it takes to take bloody ownership of the jobs that politicians got to do and execute it. The god damn political junta in the country need to learn to run the country as a corporate and assume each citizen is a share-holder whom they would have to answer every quarter. But that would be too much of a hassle rite, can hear murmurs, in a country where a surname is an entitlement to become the prime minister, in a country where creating a communal divide is the prime-ministerial aspirant's biggest cv point!!
Dont really know where all these thoughts go. But its us to blame.
Salute you guys who laid down your lives in the line of duty!! God bless you!!

And if any of you wonder what is the connection between the title and the post-
after seeing all this am i supposed to believe god exists?
well the atheists would say there is no god because of the destruction caused, whereas the theists would say it was the god tht send people like sandeep or karkare to save the rest!!
But I would say people like sandeep or karkare behaved like GOD that day!!
Everyone has a chance to be a GOD or a DEVIL every moment in this world, it's upto each one to choose what they want to be.
(PS: impressions of anbe sivam can be seen in the last few lines. Courtesy kamal hasan it is a movie which has left indelible marks in my thinking)

Long time no see

2008-07-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

Its been a good time since the last time i blogged!! Well as any human being i have my own reasons (er..isnt it actually excuses??) honestly i dont think my blog is half as interesting as a lot of blogs i do read. That is one single big reason as to why i have not blogged often. But what the heck this is my space and i get it for free and have taken a vow hence to write regularly.
Dont care if noone reads, I have time and a data card now for myself and am staying alone in a good city with no company to party :(
adieu

random blabbering

2007-09-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

Well this is a weird feel, I hate to admit. This holiday was too damn short and I spent almost the entire time sleeping. And all set to leave in some 6 hours, I don’t like the way I am feeling right now. My mom still has a few tears when I tell her I gonna be back only in March. My neighbor tells me that my dad told him sometime before that he thought it was a mistake to have let me go to xlri and he feels lonely at times. Well I am caught between these emotions, I pretty much love my parents and I also long to get back to XL. Life has been weird; it’s not been all that rosy, made some enemies, a few friends, some whom might be friends for life. Well I don’t know, it’s all confusing emotions. XL has been loads of fun; think the best part about it has been…well honestly I don’t know. It did surely change me in some aspects, well for one I danced on stage the first time ever, but nevertheless am sure if I want all this madness and craze about career leaving behind so many things in life. I would like to go back home to my family, it’s never been like they have inhibited my freedom to do anything that I desperately need to live alone to enjoy life (well apart from a bearable dosage of eat at home da…don’t eat out so much, not good for health). Well am feeling guilty about the fact that maybe am selfish in just looking at my happiness and blurting out quite a few times that college is fun and I love to get back to my parents. But to be honest I do miss the place and my parents. Wish life wasn’t about compromises.

back again

2007-09-03T18:19:00.000-07:00

well after all the laziness it took an end term to make me blog again!!! well thats me...
well couldnt help loitering around the corridor and seeing the boys all throwing jargon randomly in all directions and thinking that i have made one good decision!!!
talking of good decisions in life? is thr anything called a good decision? i think its only a matter of time before you realise how bad the decision has been..sometimes you end up confronting death before you can realise, a morose thought to have at 6:53 am but couldnt help!!

Am back!!!

2007-07-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

Never really thought i would blog again...i had somehow become more of a blog reader to just while away time and had almost stopped writing things till i bumped into http://orangenotes.blogspot.com/.. Actually there is atleast one sane person( i know she is) in this world who has actually linked my blog on her page, who has actually read it once atleast!!!
and am sure i am gonna stay in this world because i had taken the pains of recovering my account and linking it to my google account and all that.So do look into this more often!!
Goodluck to me!

Ramblings @ 4 AM

2006-12-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

Its 4 Am rite now and am awake on a Saturday night and well am not partying for one!! Its been 2 terms in this place ...so much has changed over the last few months!! a lot of big things apparently look smaller,hardly anything shakes me up, new people have become known people and there is one striking difference between life now n when in engineering. The whole summer process was a revelation in itself!! Loads of realities were stirred up and brought to the forefront,many a character was tested and many a soul shown what they were really made of. This is so much different from what used to be in engineering. The unfortunate part is everyone forgot that it was a level playing field, each one here deserved to be in , in his/her own way and that was taken for granted. The age old immature assumption of academic brilliance transforms into potential professional success was also proven a farce!! (And i love this more than anything else).
At this point i think the definition of success is very important!!
Quite a significant number suffer from the herd mentality that finance is what smart ones do and marketing is for free riders of the campus!! I cant help but think of the term Marketing Myopia in this context. For those who decide on what to do by thinking what sounds cool to the world or what gets you more money...think twice!! Because fmcg marketing used to be the most sought after job in b-school campuses a decade before and if you tell people now to allow more than a bunchful of fmcg companies in premium slot u might even get debarred from the process!! Digressing from my point ...there are very ppl who are sure,atleast now, about what they want and hence chose it. Hats off to the few guys who stuck to what they wanted and hanged on to get it!! But the unfortunate part is that even if you are in a premium b school the fear of failure or insecurity drives you to do something that you actually never really preferred. If the safe n secure campus doesnt give one the guts to take that iota of a risk I wonder where we the manager population are heading!!

Realisations...

2006-11-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

Far away from you guys
In a distant land filled with strangers yet friends
I still miss you guys.

Your faces keep flashing in my mind
I try to hold onto them
and I realise how powerless I am.

I want to see you right now, can I?
I can't, thats how powerless I am.
I can't even talk to you right now
It's bloody 12 in the night
torn between being responsible and being myself
I write this with tears rolling down my eyes
Love you Mom and Dad!

The pseudo Indians we are.....

2006-07-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

I think we Indians are the most pseudo in the world. We are pseudo in every aspect. Our law claims to be secular though we have a religious bias in its application to people, we are pseudo secular in the sense that a party which was directly involved in riots against a particular community at a time when I was born accuses another party of causing communal hatred just because it did the same against the country’s largest minority. We are pseudo in every other aspect of life….The so called people who hit out against the VHP’s and Bajrang Dal’s ( the author doesn’t espouse their cause and in no way agrees to their behaviour) find nothing anti-social yet about the group that is being suspected of the blasts in Mumbai. The so called pseudo-secular poets and actress and former MP ( read as some name rhyming with shoaib akhtar and Shabs Azm*) don’t bother to condemn the perpetrators of this crime. Are they afraid of the pseudo-seculars that we are who bans Da Vinci Code though it is being screened in Rome ? Long live pseudoism in India because if not I wouldn’t have had something to write about on a lazy Sunday morning!!

Long time!!

2006-06-08T09:37:00.000-07:00

Ya I know it’s been a long time since I have blogged. Nothing specific has been keeping me occupied but just that I didn’t feel like it. The last one month has been bliss and its all coming to an end. All I had been doing have been catching up with people, going out, partying and sleeping!! And now with jus another 4 days away to bid adieu to a lot of things, I have a pretty weird feel…a lot of new things and what I had been aspiring to do, when its finally happening I don’t know if am best prepared for the whole process!! But the person I am I know I will manage with all the new stuff…and I don’t want u guys to nod and tell me “ well that’s life my boy, you need to get used to things changing fast”. Not that I don’t agree to it but am still entitled to say I prefer the comfort zones have been in for 23 years. Well looking back I would be leaving behind my family and apart from them have only a very few friends back in madras. That’s probably a blessing in disguise that not many people would actually be in town anyways but not that I wouldn’t miss the ones still back here!! I just hope all the right people get the message!!

11 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

well it was an awesome feel to get up after a 11 hour sleep today.Dont remember when was the last time i had slept for so long at a stretch.Guess a lot of things made me forget this blisful activity!! Had slept at 8 the previous night and got up at 7 in the morning and in between all this messages from dheena about him getting r*ped at home for being caught doing something and peggy messaging me at 2 in the morning asking me if i am watching the arsenal-villareal match and me messaging in my sleep that am not!!
think it was a well deserved one considering all that am going through right now...well my problems might look trivial to a lot of people but well they are pretty important things to me...so guess am in for the barca-milan match today!!

Reality strikes...

2006-04-25T02:56:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time I remember when I was young or rather not so old I used to look upon people who were 23 years old as some awesome creatures in this planet earth who would have achieved nirvana in their life! They would be sure of their career, have a real good girl, and know where their life is heading! These were supposedly my own thoughts and shouldn’t I be fulfilling my own expectations about being 23 years old? Well sadly I realize I don’t fulfill any of those 3 conditions. I am still not clear whether I should take a sales job traveling for which would steal me of the wonderful moments that I can spend with people whom I want to or the supposedly awesome I banking stuff which would give me the a lot of money to count but may give me the time to! And FYI, I am single and I am not sure where am going to go 3 months from now.
So having failed my own 3 conditions to happiness I just look back at my own life.
Guess when I was in school people kept telling me that I do my tenth boards well and my life would be settled (would like to get back to them and ask what they meant by settling down). Then when passed out of class 10 they said do your class 12 boards well and things would be all rosy. Then in my college days I realized people stopped telling me things but I had gotten so used to this that I started setting my own ambitions lest I end up not being ‘happy’ in life. The funny part is the word happy is as subjective as anything else. Once upon a time when I was around 13 my typical ‘happy’ would be like a 12 hour marathon sleep session, then wake up play get back home sleep, wake up, play, watch TV and sleep!! Now neither am I able to sleep for 12 hours at a stretch nor am I able to go out and play like a kid. Actually I was introduced to a kid as uncle by someone but the kid was kind enough to call me by my name.
Another weird thing is everything used to be a lot simpler when I was a kid. There used to be friends or ‘enemies’. There used to be right or wrong. There used to be good or bad.
Growing up I realize there are only people whom you get along with aka friends and people whom you don’t get along with who are not your friends! There are very few things right or wrong in this world and more often than not the truth lies in between.

Conversation when I was young:
A: would you accept bribe?
Me: NO!!
A: Why?
Me: Its bad, dishonest, cheap….

If the same happens now:
A: would you accept bribe?
Me: well don’t know ..Wouldn’t really be able to tell you unless I go through it!
A: Why?
Me: Because its easy for me to say something politically correct and get applause…but I really don’t know if I will refuse if someone offers me a Rs 100 cr bribe though I would want to refuse!! If it’s a 10000 bribe maybe I will refuse but 100 cr am not sure till I actually refuse.
Another major thing I see and that includes me too is the fear of failure or rejection. I don’t think most of us would have thought of failing our annual exam in school or having a back up solution if say you fail in class 8.But when you grow up it goes like well my plan A is xxxx and if it fails plan B is yyyy and if that also fails plan C is zzzz. The fear of failure, I think, is the most important thing to tackle to be successful because for the simple reason that it used to work when you were young.
Another thing is the natural confidence/aggression/arrogance or whatever you might want to call it. Looking back at similar conversations it is damn funny

When i was young:
Dad: how did your exam go?
Me: good dad. Should get good marks!!
Dad: How much?
Me: Atleast 95…
Dad: grins

NOW:
Dad: how did your CAT exam go?
Me: Dad, don’t know did my best. Lets see how it works.
Dad: What do you think are your chances?
Me: Well don’t know dad, it depends on a lot of things. Should be lucky and ….
Dad: realizes I had screwed it.
Another thing is when I was young I used to feel sad for the communist labourers who went on strike and thought they should be given their due. Probably I was communistic then. But now I think its stupid on their part to hold an organization to ransom and there is no moral obligation on the part of the employer to be sweet to these guys. If they don’t like they always have a choice to quit and go to a place where they will be happy. Think the employer has every right to do what he wants and it’s again the fear of failure (read as insecurity) that’s stopping them from quitting and go to some other place.
When people were kids they would have played the game to win and not to not to lose but when you get old most often than not we end up playing to not to lose! Wish I don’t do that often and I hope all my friends also don’t do that!!
Feeling a lot better now and in spite of all this the world is a nice place to live in and full of nice people!!!

PS: Guess am pretty confused about a lot of things in life and hence the reason for this kinda blog entry. So please excuse me!!

23 years of living....

2006-04-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

been 23 years of living...donno if its survival or living actually...but well had been an awesome journey with my share of learnings and experiences and guess life has thrown a few new challenges at me as my birthday gift!! Lets see how it all shapes up

the CAT saga!!

2006-04-20T00:20:00.000-07:00

Well thought I should be penning this down to just look back and be reminded about the last year. …April 2005 till now. It could probably be the most important defining moment as far as my career is concerned and so here it goes.

April 2005…
After a long time I decided I wanted something real badly and it was an MBA tag to my name. Was thinking hard about my future and decided I would sulk all my life if I don’t get it. First thing decided to enroll myself for classes and well joined TIME. I don’t know if one really needs to go to classes to crack CAT but I am doing it because I have decided this is going to be my last attempt at it and come what may have to get it and to not end up regretting not doing something I just decided to join. Well this is my first step of the journey, which I now would be long and tiresome. Well the classes started and things went pretty fine. I was getting warmed up to the task ahead and I was actually pretty focused about things for the first time in my life!!

The mockcats begin….

Mock 1:
Decided to just go and take it as it comes and do an evaluation of what needs to done. Well my rank was 102 and I assumed I was on target and pretty much happy about my strategy in taking the exam!!
Mock 2:
Decided to implement the same strategy and well my rank came to 283 and well was pretty much happy.
Mock 3:
Tried to change my strategy with what someone in TIME told me and this bombed. My rank was 2764…. the confidence level went real low and doubts started creeping in especially since this was an all India free mock cat. Got into my shell and tried to do some serious introspection. Wasn’t sure if there weren’t any cracks in the defence!
Mock 4:
This was a decent comeback with a rank of 925 and thought things weren’t as bad after all.
Mock 5,6,7,8,9:
My rank in the fifth was real good and there was no looking back after that. Was an all up ride for the next 4 weeks and my ranks were 76,137,184,194,131.Was pretty happy with the level of consistency I had reached and was on a confidence high about reaching the IIM’s after all!!
Mock 10:
Rank was 839.Didn’t do all that well and thought it was just a burn out and nothing more to it because had been doing the same that I had done before!!
Mock 11:
Rank was 169. Now started thinking things are under control and I had to just keep the momentum going for the next couple of months to win the battle!!
Mock 12:
Rank was 1288.Didn’t know what took me and was just blanked. Told myself it was a one off occasion and things would fall into place soon!!
Mock 13:
Rank was 635 and this kind of soothed my ego that the previous one was after all a one off occasion!!
Mock 14:
Rank was 1539 and this freaked me out because I realized the more I tried now the worse it went. Thought had reached my threshold and decided to take a break for a week till the next one hoping the break would solve things for me.
Mock 15:
Alas it didn’t. Rank was 1694 and my confidence was shattered to pieces. And everyone around was just peaking at the right time and they were all doing good and started wondering if my luck is just running out at the wrong time.
Mock 16:
With just some 3 weeks to go for the cat time guys decided to give a damn easy paper with the quants section being pathetically dumb and I badly needed this tore store my confidence and I got a rank of 67. Felt damn good!!!
Mock 17 and Mock 18:
Had decided not to think much about how I performed in these 2 tests with just some 10 days to go for cat. For the record my ranks were 648 and 277.

Before getting into what happened on the cat day I need to remind myself about a few things about my social life. I happened to meet a lot of real nice people during this period (who are some of my good friends now) and realized how special some of my friends were. Am sure you guys know I am talking about you and a big hug to all you guys!!

Nov 20 2005!!
Battlefield: Raja Rajeshwari College of engineering
Well this college was put up pretty much on the outskirts of the city and after having been wished by almost every soul I knew I set off to the place thinking of all the nice things about life and humming my favourite songs!! The hall was one totally screwed up Machines lab I think and when I put the OMR on the table the paper got soiled. I told myself to stay cool and asked for the IIM representative and this moron from IIM K asks what to do about it and tells me to go ahead and nothing will happen. Told myself well the same thing and well the paper was a total surprise. Thought I had managed pretty decently though got into a pretty defensive mood which really did me in I think when looking back at that day!
Well people all around still kept my hopes up by saying I will end up getting a single call atleast though my initial reaction was I had screwed it up and wouldn’t get a single IIM call.
Well then the other exams (iift, jmet, xat, fms) came and just took it pretty chill and I gradually started expecting to get a single IIM call.
Well my scorecard after all the exams stood like this
Bumps from IIM’s, SPJIMR, MDI
And ended up with calls from NITIE (my lone CAT based call), IIFT, IIT’s, XLRI, FMS!!
The irony was that I ended clearing every other exam but cat though I had prepared only for it all along!!

Well the really special interview was the IIT B interview. Found all questions really insightful and was really happy about the whole thing was because I could be myself and didn’t need to put on anything to sell myself across!
The next one should be NITIE I think because it was more like me giving guest lecture on ethics, business, being a great leader and those types!! And ya they have a really sexy campus and the lake rocks!!
The next should be FMS because I think I exceeded my own expectations in the extempore! The topic was “Stop clock” and was blank about it for a split second then the dude just showed the stop clock in front of him and his hand went down and it reminded me of the axe falling on someone’s head for the death sentence and well I started of on life’s clock stop clock called death and how people should live life to its fullest and enjoy life and stuff like that!! The panel was actually impressed and complimented me for my extempore but I think it was one of the weirdest correlations I have ever made but well ya who cares!!
Have admit from NITIE and waitlist from FMS and XLRI!!
Waiting for those two. Would be happy enough to go to either of the places!! Well this ends right here and think I have been pretty lucky to be in this position in spite of the CAT goof up!!

10 point something....

2006-04-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

10 things I wish I could still do
1) Sleep for some 12 hours at a stretch
2) Sit and watch a movie at home
3) Be contented in life and not ambitious
4) Look at the mirror and comb my hair for ten minutes (well used to do it in school)
5) Be happy to speak for hours on the phone and let my dad pay my bill.
6) Feel on top of the world when a cute girl talks to me.
7) To look at things with no fear of failure or rejection.
8) Say I don’t want to get married (used to say it when in school)
9) Just walk out of a place without opening the door for the girl
10) Think hard about clearing my biology exam.

10 things I wish I don’t do
1) Bite my nails
2) Like the unshaven look
3) Get nostalgic about life and people
4) Think of all the stupid things I do and feel sorry for people
5) Get philosophical about life
6) Complicate simple things
7) Use words whose meaning I don’t even know
8) Think of living up to the expectations of my own self
9) Try to be decent to people though I don’t like them.
10) Try to stand by what I believe in when it would be a lot easier to play ball.

Should I quit??

2006-03-24T03:41:00.000-08:00

Should I quit blogging?
well one of my basic principles that I had believed in when i started this- to just blog about what goes through my mind seem to be have been shunted because of some weird god damn reason( shouldn't matter because if only i could say that i might as well blog about what i want to)
Should I or shouldn't I?
These are indeed dark days for democracy!!

On the flip side if i do speak about every other thing that comes to my mind think the police would charge me with countless charges.....so it isn't really a bad thing is it?? so guess the status quo remains but well you wouldnt find somethings in my blog anymore!!

23 March 2006

2006-03-23T21:52:00.000-08:00

Does it ring a bell?? What strikes the mind of we Indians on hearing this date?
Well most people would come up with arbit crap or rather the more moral citizens would say Ahem one person had quit her membership in parliament on moral grounds. Well that’s the pathetic state of affairs in our country
Yesterday was the 75th martyrdom day
Hats off to all the guys who did their bit for the freedom struggle and I salute all the people who have contributed to the freedom movement irrespective of whether they made it into my history books or not!!
Jai Hind!

My Political chart

2006-03-20T03:17:00.000-08:00

I am a right winger and am pretty neutral between between liberal and authoritarian...

supposed to be me :p

2006-03-20T02:58:00.000-08:00

took this quiz online...this is the kinda person i am it seems.....whatever feels nice so might as well believe it!!

2006-03-20T02:54:00.000-08:00

I am the number
2
I am friendly
_

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

Long Time

2006-03-19T21:19:00.000-08:00

The weekened had been awesome...It all started with machi's sendoff on saturday.Met at batti's place and after that went off to the airport.(Dheena was at his unusual best that day and he had the temerity to take all 3 of us at the same time..guess the network of girls that he is getting into is giving the awesome confidence.) Dont know how many times its gonna happen in my life but again we were there in the airport even before the person who is gonna leave...Had the usual moments of emotional fluctuation where felt really happy for this guy but again reality striking me that there is a reasonable probability that none of us might actually be in chennai by june..
The sunday was the icing on the cake....had some good fun with vineet,peggy,anupam and nisha...went to copperchimney for lunch and then mocha to kill some time before the Crash at 4...the movie was pretty decent,was exceptional in parts though kinda dragging at times....
After that me peggy had a long walk having a drag talking abt life and how things have been over the last couple of years......donno had gone really closer to peggy than what we had been in college i guess.In college we had lots of fun and all this is kind of becoming this wholesome experience where i got to know his emotional and sensitive sides too.Well a lot of my classmates wouldnt believe that....anyways then off to dinner with madurai and dk and pegs and then dessert at subway's gelatino..i think thats the name...

Was an awesome weekend.It had been a really long time since i had this kind of fun time and was a good break.
Its actually a really nice feel when u realise its been some 2 years since we had graduated and boys havent changed much..still the same pulling up each other legs abt girls, madurai the same guy his childlike tone hasn't changed..Feels like heaven!!

History is written by the winners

2006-03-17T20:55:00.000-08:00

came across this interesting article in rediff
http://in.rediff.com/news/2006/mar/17spec.htm
about netajis death which actually claims a lot of things like he didnt die of a crash....but the funny thing is the taiwan govt says for sure that no crash happened the day whcih the INdian govt claims he has died.......
probably his death will be one the longest enigma's in India that we haven't been able to figure out!!
anyways Hats off to this guy for whatever we did because history is always hijacked by the winners...

long time

2006-03-14T20:40:00.000-08:00

to be or not to be is a dilemma i face everyday and am yet to get fazed by it :)

whats happening

2006-02-13T16:57:00.000-08:00

Happened to travel to Delhi for the first time though didn’t get to see around much. Went to Priya’s and had a snack and was loafing around with Peggy and another guy called Kartik.Went to TGIF and had a decent time there. But the important thing is I was sure by then Delhi has a better female crowd than Bombay. Awesome folks…Happened to bump into a real pretty girl at TGIF who was trying to do some survey crap there. who cares she was cute and tried my best to get into a conversation with her but guess she would have seen enough people like me I guess she politely tried to avoid things. My bad luck with girls continue….

Ouch that hurt!!!

2006-02-02T13:33:00.000-08:00

Well this week had been pretty nice.After a long time there had been some good news(more abt it later) ..but as usual everything needs to come to an end...shudn't they?? a couple of incidents that happened today with 2 different people did really hurt.I usually trust someone till am proved wrong and the two people who were involved,I had huge amount of good will on them..but there was one commonality abt the whole....both sounded very casual when they said it.I am sure i would think twice before I get into that kind of a deal but i thought i got pretty muich of an unfair treatment....am I being taken for granted??should i have said something back?? probably some 4 years before I would have done that..but not now.world is pretty big for such small things i think.But does that mean I should take this nonsense...Am confused!!

Pseudo is the word!!

2006-01-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

The politics of a Mecca pilgrimage

At the outset I would like to forewarn people who have a rigid mindset or one who wants to play to populist sentiments or someone who defines secularism as pseudo to be prepared to take this post with a pinch of salt and do some serious introspection.

I would like to quote the following from one of the books I read:

One of a Muslim's duties, as described in the Five Pillars of Islam, is to go on Hajj at least once during his or her lifetime. This is a pilgrimage to Makkah (Mecca) in Saudi Arabia.
"The Hajj consists of several ceremonies, meant to symbolize the essential concepts of the Islamic faith, and to commemorate the trials of prophet Abraham and his family...Prophet Muhammad had said that a person who performs Hajj properly 'will return as a newly born baby [free of all sins].' The pilgrimage also enables Muslims from all around the world, of different colors, languages, races, and ethnicities, to come together in a spirit of universal brotherhood and sisterhood to worship the One God together."

I think it is now pretty obvious that the Hajj pilgrimage is very much an Islamic religious practice. Then why is it that a subsidy is provided by the Indian government to benefit one section of the society? In the Indian constitutional context religion doesn’t play a role in doling out incentives to its citizens, atleast it is not supposed to. But the fact is it does. The whole concept of God is so subjective. To someone watching a beauty in a Rio Carnival could be a source of washing away his past. Would the government allow that? Does the Indian government provide a subsidy for its Christian citizens to visit The Vatican and attend the Pope’s address atleast once in its life? Can the Hindus in India get a chance to see The Balaji temple in Pittsburg if some religious book says so? For someone to whom football is his religion, would he get a subsidy to watch a Manchester United - Arsenal duel? I have my doubts on whether any of the above mentioned questions would get a ‘yes’ for an answer. Then why do Muslims get a subsidy from the Indian government?
I think the politicians are majorly responsible for this. They have always divided the Indian community along religious lines for their own selfishness. I think the Muslim society as whole is also equally responsible because it has got into their mindset that the subsidy is their birthright that I doubt if any government could come to power if they did withdraw the subsidy..That would of course happen, only if the parliament whose members may make a hue and cry to protect the rights of ‘Muslim minorities’, accepts it.
I actually think it is they who are not discriminated against but the rest of the society
vis- a – vis the Hindus, Christians,Buddhists,Jains….
Looking at the economic implications of a subsidy I personally think the money spent is pretty huge (approx some 150-200 crores) to appease a particular religious community. I think better value for the same money could be obtained by doing something that benefits the society as a whole. At the end of the say it’s a taxpayer’s money like mine, which is spent, on this expenditure. Even if someone does come with a frivolous statement like, only the Muslim’s tax money is spent on the subsidy I would as well demand a subsidy for me to book the next flight to the Rio carnival this year. I think that money could be spent for a nobler cause of educating a lot of orphans or under privileged children in the country.
I think time has come for a Uniform Civil code in this country. No should get any favours because of his religion. And I have nothing against public money being used for some pursuit that is totally non-religious in nature.

Miss you guys!!

2005-12-19T17:08:00.000-08:00

My blogging is becoming infrequent nowadays…a lot of things going through my mind right now. Life has become a lot complex than how it was.That was when I got nostalgic about those college days. My class was unique in its own way. It was an all boys class and almost everyone regretted for being in that kind of a class. But over a period of few months we started enjoying our moments together. It was a lot easier as there used to be no inhibitions in any of the words uttered….It was a neat gang…most of the times would end up holding my stomach after having laughed continuously for a long time…..Now each person is up his own way trying to realize some purpose behind his existence. Still we somehow try to catch up in whatever little way we can as possible and still long for those wonderful days to return..I know it wont but it atleast makes me feel better that I had my share of those wonderful moments in life….Really thank all you guys who made it a wonderful time and sure wanna relive those moments whenever possible!!!

Saurav is the King!!!!

2005-12-17T09:04:00.000-08:00

Saurav you were bowled only by an under-arm delivery from Mr.Greg Chappell.It was cheap politics by greg and am real ashamed that the so called BCCI team hasnt even an issued an apology for Mr.Greg showing his middle finger to the Kolkata crowd.I have specifically mentioned BCCI team because the same board had said that it was a private entity or rather a trust kinda thing to the Supreme Court.I am just wondering how the word INDIA is still present in the kits of the team.Any one on for a legal suit??you will get my support....and Saurav you are above all these cheap politics...you would always be fondly remembered by your fans like me for having shown what self respect is and team spirit is......

Sachin-arent u selfish??

2005-12-11T05:03:00.000-08:00

Mr.Sachin where are you????cant imagine this gentleman of cricket didnt realise that the light was bad till the ball he scored his century and the next ball he takes the bad light appeal...God bless these fanatic Indian fans who dont see through his attitude...and Mr.Greg you are barking at the wrong door!!!

Greg Get the message else you wouldnt have one

2005-11-30T01:00:00.000-08:00

A little consolation!!

2005-11-27T21:04:00.000-08:00

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life
is not already to preserve the English tongue,
it should be. You can smell a grammatical
inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is
revered by the underlings, though some may
blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just
jealous. Go out there and change the world.

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla

Wish this was true!!!

2005-11-25T02:15:00.000-08:00

'Men love challenge, women fear failure'
Source: DPA.
Image Source: IS Amsterdam, Nov 25:
Men in management positions seek out challenging tasks aware of the risks involved while women tend to be wary of failure, according to a new study by a Dutch woman psychologist.

"Men like to do important things, while women like to do things properly," Irene de Pater, 36, writes in a doctoral thesis presented at the University of Amsterdam."Of course, I am concerned that this will confirm prejudices," De Pater told the Volkskrant newspaper, adding that the full story had more nuances.But she said her research showed that women were more reluctant than men to take on challenging tasks in an environment in which modern firms were giving their top employees more freedom and responsibility in developing their management skills.As part of her thesis, De Pater set up an experiment in which men and women could choose from a range of tasks, including three challenging and seven more routine assignments.Although under no pressure in terms of choice, the women were keener on the less challenging tasks, while men were less enthusiastic about them, she found."Women tended to play safe. They did not want to fail. Men were a bit more daring, showing more bravura in their behaviour," De Pater said.Taking into account the fact that many management tasks are undertaken by a team rather than an individual, De Pater then set up a second experiment, putting together men and women who had chosen the same assignment.

The two-person team then had to decide between themselves who would carry out which aspects. Here again the men chose the more challenging aspects."This was not because men were better at negotiating. Women were just as aware that challenging tasks made a greater contribution to their management potential," De Pater said."Nevertheless the pattern was repeated. Women avoided risk, while men wanted to demonstrate how good they are. Men took on the risk of failure because they knew that they could only get ahead by completing risky assignments successfully," she said.The researcher insisted that discrimination in the workplace remained a problem."But I merely wanted to show that there is one aspect for which women are themselves responsible," De Pater said."My study shows that women are ambitious enough, but they do not always behave in a way that makes for forging a career effectively in this society."If women are more pro-active, they will have more opportunities."

What the hell is happening in India??

2005-11-24T22:47:00.000-08:00

The other day i was just casually surfing the tv channels when in headlines today they showed a dad crying for his son's death.I actually presumed there was some accident that happened or something.But after a few seconds i just realised an IIM-L alumni Manjunathan had paid his life for integrity and doing his job right.He was working in IOC and he got killed by a gang of petrol bunk owners who were affected by his sincerity...May his soul REST IN PEACE for doing something he believed in and i am having doubts now if i would have done the same having seen the consequences.

Post Mortem i was just wondering what the hell are the so called intellectual leadership doing in the country.I have high regards for both the president and the prime minister but am losing the respect I had now.These guys go on putting one charter plan after another but how many more young guys u wanna lose....FYI the next day the Petroleum Minister wants to settle his personal scores with ONGC chairman and wants to strip it of its Navratna status....I am disgusted that he didnt order a major crackdown.....

Indian Cricket!!!

2005-11-21T21:00:00.000-08:00

I am one of those very few guys who still want Ganguly to make a strong come back but this article is not gonna be about him but about others in the team who claim they have become world beaters with just another home win...
Case 1:
I personally dont think dravid is a captain whom i would rate along with the likes of steve waugh or fleming..........he is more of our old Azhar who is very laid back in the field.He is too nice a person to be a captain I guess.Reasons for these statements being the way he captained the first 2 matches versus south africa....Agreed things went on well against Srilanka but that was because of some splendid individual performance and not because of any tight situtations which required great thinking on the spur of the moment.Jus look what happened in the first match when the last few overs the bowling was done by tendulkar and yuvraj cud have been tried and tendulkar was gifting a boundary every over and in the second match i jus dont understand why part timers were tried when agarkar,pathan and rp singh had around 10 overs between them.That is the ruthlessness that I think they lack and I think thats what ganguly had jus like the australians.
My vote:Dravid is not a good captain!!!

Case 2:
This would be brief I guess.This is about sachin ,after the first match people were all praises for him but his performance after that has been disgusting to say the least and this comes from a person who was his ardent admirer till some 2 years before.I think sachins days are over.also look at the way he bowled the other day the old magic is no more working...

Case 3:

this is something i have found absurd and i find it even more confusing because no one in the press has talked about this.Why is Zaheer not there in the team when Agarkar is there??Why is Agarkar given so many chances when saurav cant be given??I thinkhe came into the scene some 6 years before and first year and a half he did bowl well but after that i dont think he is worth a place in the team when he gives on an average some 5 runs an over,he doesnt bowl those lethal yorkers and not great with the bat,what he does bajji can do claiming to be a bowler.how the f**k can Zaheer not be there when this guy is there??Isn't this appying different standards to different people that Ganguly was accused of??Aren't Chappell and Dravid doing the same thing...Why is Balaji not there??Is agarkar given a place because he is a good friend of the formerly great Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar..I remember kambli being given so many chances and i think it was because he flew a kite with tendulkar when they were kids(sarcasm intended) and when sachin was a captain half the Indian team was from Mumbai......I cant help laughing at these people who accuse saurav of a lot of things but they are doing worse to indian cricket.To his credit Saurav has not selfishly promoted anyone jus because he knows them personally.

To wind up I am just waiting for the day when the same team having created so much hype gets raped in WACA or Wanderers against a freaking 4 pace attack and I would have the last laugh.

Sachin:Not the player he used to be
Sehwag:Still the same old player might jus be a little unlucky thats all but he is a world beater any day
Dravid:has been getting bowled a lot of times which never used to happen,only grouse is he is not a captain who can do well in crisis
Kaif:Still as susceptible to short ball,getting caught at midwicket and getting lbw early in the innings
Pathan:Seems to have an awesome sense of timing with the bat..but pray his bowling still remains as good as it used to be
Dhoni:Seems to be our answer to Gilchrist but yet to be tested against australia and england now..if it goes well he is a real find
Yuvraj:lot of flair and class,still suspect to good spin like that of Murali but would scrap through since there arent many quality spinners.But someone whom you can trust when everything else has flopped
Agarkar:jus doesn't deserve a place in the team
Harbhajan:has proved again he is a great bowler and seems to be in good touch with the bat
Karthik:deserves a place in the squad but not sure about the team ,could be a second spinner till a better one is found since he doesnt have great control
JP Yadav:good bowler for one day matches
RP Singh:i just love this guy,has a kiddish face bowls really well just see the bounce he extracts out of indian pitches fields really well for indian pacers.Good find
Raina:looks to be really matured and cool head,should be groomed to be in middle order,awesome fielder along with yuvraj and kaif.My shout he should be the future indian captain!!

The day Derrida bowled me over

2005-11-21T01:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday had taken up CAT!!Was pretty much expecting a surprise but hats off to these guys for having sprung a googly inspite of expecting it.Apart from that the day was pretty normal...a few anxious moments here and there and am still wondering how life is gonna turn up!!Well it was also a day when i realised gaming theory wasnt anything to with some war games that Israelis and Americans perform in Operation desert storm but its got something to do with psychology.Was haunted by the different answer keys that people were publishing.I thank all those people who had wished for my good irrespective of how things turn out!!!
I would come up with a detailed description later!!

The day that was!!!

2005-10-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

First time i saw so much rain in my city,ya my beloved city!!The day began early with me not realising the intensity of the rains outside and i jus looked out of my window and I smiled.Ya smiled because I had a reason to take off from work and do things I like doing.Enjoy mom's food,sleep cozily for hours and then have chat with people at home over a cup of tea.But as always things didnt turn out that way.My parents had to go to a wedding of the neighbour's son and they came pretty late by when yours truly had gone to sleep.When I got up I realised there has been a power cut for more than a couple of hours and by then I had caught up a bad cold and was just wondering why things had to turn out this way.Well am still waiting for my day.

Pathetic state of affairs

2005-10-26T00:25:00.000-07:00

Before posting this article which i came across in one website i would like to make it very clear so that no idiot just twists the whole case to his benefit..I found this article funny not because of the religion that they were talking about but because i think what the person proclaims is totally anti islam;i have quite a few Islamic friends who are really nice people and am sure they wouldn't stand by this article.

Spread over many acres in the heart of I-8 (a posh residential area in Islamabad where the price of a 60' by 90' plot is around 20 million rupees), the Jamia Mosque Quba is run by Jamat-ud Dawa [JD], which is popularly, though wrongly, identified as the Lashkar-e-Taiba -- the largest network of Pakistani militants fighting in Indian Kashmir.
A visitor to the mosque on any Friday at 1 pm will see a long queue of brand new vehicles in which the rich of the twin cities [Islamabad and Rawalpindi] come for the Friday sermon. Some come from the adjoining cities.
Why do they take this trouble when there is no dearth of mosques in their vicinity?
Because they get the opportunity of listening to Hafiz Abdur Rehman Makki, the number two in JD's hierarchy who travels every Friday from Lahore to give a sermon and lead the Friday prayers.
An eloquent orator, Makki has the power to draw tears from his listeners. Last Friday [October 21] this correspondent attended his sermon.
Quoting numerous Koranic verses, Makki justified the earthquake as a punishment of Allah on the sinful.

Ridiculed seismologists who rationalized the quake on scientific grounds, he said: 'You are saying that the earthquake has occurred because the plates beneath the earth have dislocated. Oh foolish scientists, don't you know that the plates could have never moved without Allah's order? Human beings' knowledge is nothing before Allah who is the creator of the universe. Whatever knowledge you have today is due to His will. You could have learnt nothing had Allah not wished so!' He urged the scientists to seek Allah's forgiveness instead of being proud of their so-called knowledge.
'Oh unwise people open Koran. It tells you how so many nations before you were annihilated by Allah through natural disasters when they crossed the limits and refuted His blessings. Don't you learn a lesson from the Jews? They are the worst receiver of Allah's wrath because they flayed His commandments blatantly.'
Declaring natural calamities as Allah's army, Makki said: 'Allah would order His soldiers -- earthquakes, storms, plaques, droughts, and hurricanes -- to invade the disobedient. Thus He would serve a reminder on the survivors i.e. they should abandon vice and adopt virtue.'
'The earthquake is a reprimand to the rulers on their un-Islamic policies e.g. recognition of Israel; maligning jihad and ditching the jihadis; ridiculing jihab; perverting society with obscenity by urging women to work with men in all spheres of life; secularizing the curriculum, etc. Oh foolish rulers, did you ever give it a thought that Islamabad had many towers but only one collapsed? Because Allah did not want all of you to die! He has given you another chance. Avail it and become his obedient beings.'

Criticizing Musharraf's development agenda, Makki said: 'By 2007, Musharraf had to take off veil from women's faces and force them to run with men on road in semi-nude state. He had to put them in dance classes. The quake has perished his plans! Now he has become a beggar. He has to beg continuously for 10 years to rebuild the quake-hit areas!'
Reminding Musharraf that his decision to outlaw jihadi outfits was myopic, Makki said: 'The world has seen that these banned jihadis reached where the army or the US Chinook could not reach and provided relief to thousands of people. Jihadis are not afraid of bans. They are the soldiers of Allah. They will continue to help the people. Nobody can stop them!'
Urging the rulers to reject the aid by the international community and secular NGOs, he said: 'Remember brothers, by accepting their aid, you will lose your honor. You will become their slaves. They will ask you to follow their evil agenda. The UN, the US, and the EU are not the friends of humanity. They are the worst enemies of the Muslims. You should seek help from Allah only.'

Makki claimed that the JD alone could undertake the entire relief, reconstruction and rehabilitation work.
'Only the four districts have been devastated. The rest of the country is in the protection of Allah. The 150 million people can feed and shelter all the earthquake victims. I ask the government to hand over the charge of relief work to JD. We -- the mujahideen -- would do everything alone in minimum time.'
Makki reminded his followers that the Muslims' glory was in jihad. As long as they dedicated money and sons for jihad, they ruled the world. They were trapped in the quagmire of humiliation when they abandoned jihad.
'We can rise again. We can rule the world again. I give you a simple recipe. Donate money and sons for jihad and your glorious days will return. The entire world will be under your control. Bush and Blair will become your slaves and lick your boots.'

PS:Am sure Allah is not the cruel kind to punish so many innocent people...wish Muslims all over the world just stand up against such absurd propaganda that shows a religion which is one of epitome of kindness in really poor light.

Getting old

2005-10-25T22:22:00.000-07:00

This weekend i got a call from one of my schooltime friends saying her marriage is fixed up for sometime in march.I got a little nostalgic thinking about those wonderful days at school.My typical day would be getting up at 7 in the morning cribbing about the hectic day am about to face and reaching school at nine.Classes used to happen and my teachers were all more or less nice people though i had some grudges against some then,but looking back now i guess they were really sweet people compared to some of the people i get to meet now.Then the evening would go off playing with my friends and max i might study for a couple of hours before i wind my long day with a well deserved sleep.Well i guess thats how i felt then.And when this call came i was rudely brought to reality.Its been some 6 years i passed out of school and cant believe how much life has changed.Typically my day starts pretty early,trying to achieve my dreams by slogging it out and then managing work and then getting back home and then again work on things...most often i jus sleep in my desk and half asleep get to bed and wake up without much time to gather myself up.In between all this i have to squeeze in time for my parents esp my mom who doesnt seem to understand i am as helpless as her for not spending time.my dad is a lot more understanding ( or i guess it was his dream to see me this busy that he is finally smiling).Coming back to the phone call ..she was one who was in the same group in my class cant imagine i was passionate about such frivolous things then..guess thats life.Guess she should be around 22-23 and i also heard a couple more had gotten married and am sure i am not updated about some people.I find it funny people are getting married because i still see myself as a kid who has jus finished college though i have to admit i have a couple of grey streaks now which werent there till i was in college.Guess am growing up but wish it was jus metaphorical and not literally.
I am still wondering if the girl whom i had a crush on when in school had gotten married!!well some things dont change!!

Being a bond fan I did like this

2005-10-23T22:30:00.000-07:00

uhh...Bond is the name...James Bond !!! indeed....!A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.The women notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"Bond explains, " It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." The lady says, "What's it telling you now?""Well, it says you're not wearing any p*nties...." The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing p*nties!"Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."

Why do people behave weird??

2005-10-23T22:07:00.000-07:00

Over a last couple of months I have seen a few people behaving weird.well am not talking about any national issue of importance but am just talking about a few friends of mine.They are like typical politicians(no offence meant guys) who become the epitome of goodness one day and the following week they do all the things they claimed were not good.And I dont wanna restrict the topic of discussion to my friends alone.a lot of us do it over a varied period of time.Why do we do it...why does our brain tend to forget the very things that it claimed were bad at another point of time and make us do it;I am looking around me for answers.hope I do get one.

correction

2005-10-21T04:30:00.000-07:00

hey in my previous post had forgotten to mention Aarthi who had taken pains in convincing me not to quit....my apologies

Shud saddam be punished!!!!!!

2005-10-21T03:53:00.000-07:00

Shoud Saddam be punished:Sujatha, who happens to be my cousin has recounted one of her experiences when the war broke out and i never realised things were this bad till i read it....so much for being cousins i guess....I never knew my uncle could handle so much pressure...my heart goes out for all the people who suffered because of Saddam but i just wonder if the Bushes and the Musharrafs deserve any better treatment!!

What am I doing in life??

2005-10-21T03:24:00.000-07:00

this is something that i have been asking myself for last few days now....my typical week goes off with my preparations for Cat including all those early hours trying to get things into my mind when it sounds logical to doze off in sleep......the time at work goes off thinking managing work so that i can get the work ex advantage going if i make thru to the interviews.....actually i think thats the only thing that had stopped me from quitting and at the end of the day sometimes when u are pretty tired a wild thought jus wanders past ur mind asking u if it is worth it at the end of the day??.........and for all those guys who have had similar thoughts in u a quote by Robin Sharma " if ur mind is capable of dreaming something it is very much capable of getting it......." again coming to the point am i really capable of being a good manager whn i cud have very well passed it away as my own intelligence rather than quoting him.......only time will answer!!!

Here I am

2005-10-21T02:58:00.000-07:00

Woh woh woh....hardly a few months before i had thought it to be stupid to have a blog and had thought of it to be a waste of time but things do change quickly and here i am creating a new blog for myself and 3 cheers to me for having given quite a creative caption by my standards....and u wonder why am saying this: it jus gives an insight into the person i am,plain simple and jus cant see things thats not in front of me!!